it's not easy

this toddler stage has a lot of good points. i love being able to carry a conversation with my little girl. the things she says, thinks and imagines keep us constantly amused (and constantly concerned with how careful we need to be with what we say and do around her! she's a sponge!)

this toddler stage has also had its fair share of challenges. (so funny how i fool myself into thinking, "ok, the next stage will be so much easier than the present one" only to find that you just swap an old set of challenges for a new set. oh, and yeah...usually the new set is much more challenging.)

we have entered the land of temper tantrums, of disobedience, of hitting and kicking, and all sorts of terrors. just writing that makes me feel guilty. i'm constantly yelling at myself internally "you must have done something wrong along the way, to be dealing with this behavior in your child! failure!" i'm learning that this attitude doesn't do much to help matters.

i am having to learn a whole different kind of patience that i have never known before. patience that can only come from the Lord. and i'm having to learn to give myself and my family over to Him - daily. i'm constantly coming before the Lord saying, "You know what? i'm just not strong enough to handle this child. i can't do it." and lately, the answer i've been receiving is "of course you can't." and i remember the simple truth that we can't do anything good of our own flesh, but only by dying to ourselves and allowing Christ to live through us every minute.

and i'm learning, it's very easy to recognize and know that God's word is true, and quite another to put it to practice in your heart. but i'm trying, and learning. every day.